Stop looking to others for the answers that are within YOU.
The answers to many of our mental and physical health concerns are already stored in our minds and bodies. A soulless society has created a false narrative that we are not supposed to trust our body’s sensations. The messages come through in many ways. They may look like subtle signals such as rashes, sleep disturbances, brain fog or literally louder warnings such as tinnitus- our body screaming in our ears to hear it. Sadly, we have been conditioned from the earliest moments of our lives NOT to trust those sensations. It may have been by well-intentioned parents due to their own lack of knowledge and upbringing. We are small humans with a tummy ache or upset, we signal to our caregiver we aren’t feeling well. They feel our forhead, no fever, they take us to a doctor who asks about bowel movements and injestion of fluids. Everything is fine, you are fine, get on with it – but – your tummy still hurts. This programs us to not trust your own body from very early on. We need to de-program that process before we rebuild trust within ourselves.
Due to neuroscience and cognitive studies, we now know infants cannot self-soothe. What they do is learn to stop crying as their needs are not being met. The neuropathway ‘crying it out’ creates is you cannot depend on your needs being met. This shows up later in life as not asking for help when needed, carrying burdens for others, and not trusting our own needs will be met by others, even if we ask. Being hyperaware and critical are also results of our developmental needs not being met with the support and compassion that is necessary. This means our sensory systems are acute yet we don’t trust ourselves to listen to our needs.
One of the most powerful moments in a child’s development is when their caretakers are having conflict but will tell them, “everything is ok”. The child can see the things around them are not ok. The child can feel a quiver in their stomach, the sweat in their palms and upper lip, the extra saliva in their mouth, the tension in their jaw and their fists are likely balled up tightly. However, the person caring for them believes they are protecting them. This cognitively causes the child to assess their body’s response as wrong. Then internalizing it as them being the thing that is wrong in the situation. This moves us to ignore our body’s responses and not trust them to be accurate. If this happens often, and the emotional needs are denied “You are fine. Stop crying. You have nothing to be upset about.” The child then grows to avoid those feelings because they know they won’t be met with empathy. The creates an emotional lockdown. Emotions will cease to get to a point where they are expressed at all, eventually, as an adult they will have difficulty accessing any emotions they were not exposed to. The issue here is ALL emotions are meant to be felt. Humans are meant to express those emotions, in a healthy way in order to feel better. Anger is not a negative emotion, it is a natural one that we have vilified to the point of attempting to force our children not to experience it. When in reality, most adults have no grasp on how and when they do. IF they are taught to express “I am frustrated because ….” then they are equipped to deal with those moments as adults.
All of these reasons are clear indicators of why re-learning how to self-regulate is important. Vagal toning exercises that are custom created by YOU, is the key to doing exactly that. Follow the instructions in the video above to get started on your journey to Nervous System Regulation and a balanced self.